Posting here has been scarce lately and it doesn’t sit right with me. I have to sometimes remind myself of what I want this blog to be for. It’s a scrapbook for my little family and a place to write down the little things I know I will want to remember in 5 or 20 years. I know these few years now are sacred for Zach and me, between our tradition of moving every year and getting in our parenting mistakes on a dog before the real thing, and just learning how to be a married couple. That’s what I want it to be.
But I also have to remind myself that it doesn’t matter if I have current photos from my DSLR to add in or not, or if more than 5 people read it (hi guys!); what matters is I get down what I need to get down even if it means a big old wall of boring text. It’s MY big old wall of boring text, and writing just makes me feel good. It makes me feel relaxed and not a lot of things do that. It gives me a sense of control. I can’t control the life I’m writing about but I can control how I write about it. I have to remind myself about a lot these days but I suppose that’s part of what being in your twenties is all about.
This weekend we went down to Blacksburg for Kevin’s graduation from Virginia Tech, also known as the greatest school in the world. It was the most surreal thing. It feels like just a minute ago I was the one graduating and he was about to continue his journey there without me (I was so jealous he still had three whole years left! What I would have given!). Watching him sit in Cassell in his cap and gown, and walking across that stage, was one of the proudest moments of my life. I know that’s usually reserved for the parents to say, but I feel that I can too. I have taken my responsibility as a big sister very seriously my whole life, even if we did get in a couple pretty serious fist-fights over whose turn it was to use the computer. One of the most unique things about siblings is how crappy you can be to each other and still love each other a whole lot!
My favorite memories are from when we were little together, playing outside until it got dark, or playing Crash Bandicoot on PS1, taking turns when the other one died. Or arguing about whether or not it was a fair death and how we should really get a “do-over” turn. Then our relationship evolved a little and Kevin would come inside from the playground to tell me if someone was being mean to him. I’d go out there with my serious sister face and demand to know who was being mean to my little brother? I’ve never been more enraged than when someone was being mean or unfair to Kevin. I’ve never been more nervous than when he was about to tell me if he got accepted to VT. I’ve never been more grateful for him than when we would move and be each other’s only friends for the first little while. Those times were special, because I remember only love. I could cry to him about how homesick I was and he’d sit on the edge of my bed and just be quiet. He could tell me his things and I could give him the best pep talks. No one knows him in the same way that I do and vice versa.
After the ceremonies and whatnot we all went downtown together and it was great to be celebrating with all the grads with one last night at the bars. Kevin has always been the most likable guy and I couldn’t help but smile as countless people came up to him to congratulate him and say hello. “That’s my brother!” I thought to myself. He’s always up for anything, he’s always in a good mood and is always ready with a joke. That’s why it killed me so much whenever someone did him wrong, or worse, when I did him wrong.
On our way out of town Zach humored me by driving around everything on campus I wanted to see one last time. He made fun of me for saying things like “Aw, thats my favorite gas station!” But man I really loved that gas station. I got a little choked up as we left the drill field behind because I dont have a tie there anymore, not like when Kevin and I were actually living there. Kevin felt the same way and while I obviously dont want him to feel sad, I was glad. Because it means that he had a good enough time there to be sad to leave. He didn’t stress too much about classes, but succeeded in doing well academically and made memories and relationships that will last a lifetime. Words cant explain how it feels to share that with him and our little town in the mountains. And now, we can make some new memories as adults together in the big city. Cheers to the real world!